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  • Writer's pictureAtiya Spencer

Surviving Body Shaming

As women we battle with our physical appearance every single day!

We’re either too small, too big, or not thick enough...

We often say, “I want bigger breast”.

“I want a bigger butt”.

“I want a smaller stomach”.

We try to get our bodies to look like these celebrities and IG models we idolize for what? When in reality, it’s hurting so many women mentally and emotionally.

Looking in the mirror can be so harsh. We make it a reality when in fact it’s just a mentality. I’m pretty sure there’s at least one time in your life where you just wanted to throw your whole self away and start from scratch. I don’t know how many times it crossed my mind to get a BBL! I just knew getting the stomach fat transferred to my butt would be a problem solved! Even at such a young age, I was always teased for my physical appearance. As a child, my abuela called me “gordita” in Spanish which means chubby and that stuck with me forever. I wasn’t even fat tbh but one little thing can ruin you forever.

I was the “thicker friend” out of my crew in my teens so I wasn’t small enough in my eyes. I was literally a size 6/7 thinking I was fat? I look back and laugh at myself because those images of me, I wish I could have now. I was skinny honey....skinny! I remember a family member telling me, “Well you need to stop hanging around them skinny heffas then cause nothing is wrong with you”. Yet, I didn’t listen. I’m like yeah okay, you’re supposed to say that. It’s funny how the tables turn because society now approves of thick women....slim thick that is. It played mind tricks with me. I was literally battling with myself for years. Nothing worked.

I ate my rice and cabbage and it went to the wrong places. I worked out and nothing changed. I became obsessed with the fad of having a big butt and I felt defeated. When I lost weight, I got a little cuff but the big butt still haven’t arrived. When I say I tried everything, I mean everything from squats, watching every YouTube video there is on how to get a big butt, to body butt shapers and all...It was on top of my list to get a big butt so people can leave me alone and maybe I’ll finally be happy. But would I truly be happy? It was idolized so much it was literally the only thing people had to offer and nothing else was talked about. Guys always talked about how they “want a girl with a fat ass”. *looks down* (it ain’t there) lol I started to tell my friends, if i had a big butt, it would be a wrap. If i had a big butt...then i stopped. That’s it. God knew what he was doing by not giving me that extra 5% because he knew I would act up. lol

Okay, let me stop joking but dealing with insecurities with your body is a serious thing. I even had some so called friends tease me because they had a big butt and I didn’t. I could of dragged a couple of them but they wasn’t worth it. The ugly inside of them was karma enough and ironically, that’s all they had to offer.... a big butt.

bod·y sham·ing


  1. the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size.

Body shaming in true form is what it was. I started to surround myself with positive people and things. I was around lots of negativity, trying to change myself for what? I had to learn to love myself and my body for me when I was at my weight goal. I did it for me and only me so I can be happy looking in the mirror everyday.

My college bestie always uplifted me and made me realize the BBL wasn’t necessary. If you knew her, you knew she had a huge butt, however, she’ll always tell you “it’s not all what it’s hyped up to be. I had my fair share of teasing too”. I loved her for that. We’ve always been so transparent in our relationship to where any topic can be discussed openly, safely, and judgement free. So now when I come across the ones who body shamed me before I don’t feel less than at all. I feel super confident now. Misery loves company and I couldn’t allow them to invite me along anymore. When you put yourself on a higher pedestal and change your surroundings, the people who once influenced you negatively can’t even elevate to your new heights.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing anyone who has had body enhancements. Do you sis, whatever floats your boat and makes you happy, I’m happy for you. I’m the ultimate hype man and will cheer you on. However, if you’re doing it for the wrong reasons, consult with my man G.O.D first. Don’t consult with a doctor, let God be your first consultation. 9 times out of 10, you won’t do it. And if you do go through with it, let it be for you and only you! I say this all to say...we are all human. There are things we don’t like about ourselves, however, let’s embrace our flaws. It only matters the way we love them. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy & fit but let’s enhance ourselves to live a long life not to impress a guy/girl—killing ourselves when they not trying to impress you sis. These people aren’t in the gym, eating right, or probably don’t even got their own. Body shaming needs to end. People don’t realize what it can lead to and how detrimental it is to young women.

Love your bodies, continue to encourage one

another, leave negative people and negativity where it’s at, and remember self love comes from within. ♥️

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